Fireworks

Fourth of July is time for fireworks. I don't care for fireworks. I'm just not. I don't get excited by them. I don't plan my holidays around them. I just don't.

I thought I'd share that!

One more thing

2013_05_27_28_29 073, originally uploaded by M'roy.

I've seen it from different angles now, not once but a few times and my conclusion is this - it boils down to these 3 key elements:

First is forgiveness. You must learn to forgive your partner from what he/she has done or left undone. You must accept that you were hurt by his/her actions or words and that you are willing to bury the hatchet. Forgive your partner and yourself for all the hurtful things and words you gave and received.

Secondly is amnesia. You must be able to completely erase this painful episode from your memory. Nothing less than a complete surrender of one's being to amnesia is effective to make this relationship work.

And lastly be able to communicate. This unfortunate incident has opened my eyes that you were not communicating with each. You must find a way to be open about your thoughts and feelings to each other without fear of rejection or ridicule. Honest and open should be the line of communication for a relationship to thrive and prosper.

That's all I have to say. And yes, this is my unsolicited advise. I'm done now!

Talking to Myself

IMG_3951, originally uploaded by M'roy.

I'm struggling to be a friend right now. I found out that I'm not as patient with "friends" as I thought I am. I learned that my well of understanding is shallow and that my power of persuasion borders on the fringes of dictatorship.

I pride myself in having the best shoulders to cry on and the most patient ears in the friendship business, but this time my claims have been challenged and questioned and put into test every single time.

What happened to me? I need to meditate to find courage to help friends find their way back to their happy zone.

I Do

Let's talk weddings. Why? Because I was just reading some blogs dedicated to weddings. Their weddings. The authors of these blogs documented/are documenting their road to the altar and are spilling out to all who care to read their experiences along the way.

While reading these blogs, some are compelling reads because they are well written, I got scared. Yes scared. I cannot handle all the stress related to preparing for a wedding, let alone for one with 150 guests. Could you imagine me running scared at this possibility?

For one to embark on such an overwhelming task, one must be passionate about it. I may not be current, but I know what a big business weddings are these days. And what a huge dent it is to the budget.

I was reading one blog where the budget for the wedding for 150 was around 300,000 pesos (roughly 7,000 US), which is a lot of money. But I'm guessing that the amount is probably the neighborhood with which weddings go around these days, eh?

Call me tightwad but that amount of money is a lot for me. But that is me.
What I gather from these blogs is that they are all having a lot of fun in preparing for the wedding. The many food tastings they have to go to, visiting different churches, calling in on designers, and so many many more things to take care of. And none of them seem to have a wedding planner.

If I was to get married in a church wedding, I'd probably opt for a wedding planner. Otherwise, I'd be a bridezilla. Too many little things. I sure hope that each one of them plans for the possibility of something going awry because as we know sometimes, nothing goes on as planned.
I'll keep on reading their blogs and see what I can learn. So far I learn how to take prenup photos. Or how to compose one.

I'm happily married and I didn't marry in church. I'm one of 5 siblings, only one of us had a church wedding. That one is divorced now. The four of us who didn't have a church wedding are all still married. One doesn't cause the other, I'm just saying as an observant.

I remember when it was my wedding. It was sorta forced. Er, rushed. I got engaged New Year's Eve. One year later, nothing in regards to wedding was being talked about. Until my then fiance asked when's the wedding sweetie. It was then that I realized, it was my responsibility to arrange for the wedding. He'll just show up. It was the time of my most chaotic professional life. I wasn't seeing any break for the entire year, because we were upgrading our software and I was in the middle of the upgrade. I had to learn all the new stuff so that when the system is in place, I'd be the go-to person for any troubleshooting. So you see there seems to be no break for me that year. How can I even pencil in a wedding?

As a matter of fact, the early months of 2007 were too hectic that I was logging in crazy number of work hours. I had to attend to classes for new software, then after 8 hours of that, had to go back to my desk and try to do as much as I can for the next day. I was even working on Saturdays. It was the most inopportune time for a wedding.

But as the saying goes in the vernacular, "Pag ukol, bubukol." And so it was. Thankfully, we both weren't into the church wedding. We are both laidback and no frills.

I made arrangements to exchange I Dos in a civil ceremony at the county's seat in nearby Martinez. There were many of us that day, but we went couple by couple and was wed by a woman. My mother and my 2nd brother were there as witnesses.

After the wedding, my brother took us to Sala Thai, a little hole in the wall Thai fusion restaurant not too far from where we live. I cannot remember what I ate, it was after all around 2 pm. I do remember my mother only ordering the sweet rice with mango, which is a dessert. My mother's penchant for kakainin prevailed.

By 6 pm, my mother and the two of us met another couple, which we call my husband's Vietnamese parents. We took them to Applebee's for some eats.
Two days later we were boarding a plane bound for Vancouver, where we will catch our cruise ship for Alaska.

Looking back, I do not regret the fact that I chose not to have a wedding. Nevertheless, I enjoy seeing other people's church wedding photos and smiling at how magical they tell the story behind those wedding photos.

Fashion Sense

When I was little growing up in a farming community right smack in the middle of Central Luzon, there was very little fashion statements to be found.  It was after all before the age of internet and text and cell phones.  The time when only 4 or 5 tv stations are operating and when you live outside of Luzon, you'd get your shows delayed by days.

Knowing that you'd know that there is no way to be exposed to fashion at that age.  My mother always wears a bandana to cover her hair when we take public transportation.  Riding in jeepneys or buses can ruin your hair you know.  I always associated bandana as an accessory for old people.  But I liked it. I liked having my head covered.

Fast forward to many years later and here I am living just outside San Francisco and having all sorts of fashion statements in my face and I still have no fashion sense.  What remained however is my fascination for bandana or head coverings.  I still don't use them; I have a few in my closet but I use them to cover my shoulders. 

So I am happy to be around Indians because their culture calls for this accessory. I sometimes wear it when I am with them.

Do you like bandanas, hair coverings?





School uniforms with the sash/orno they call it in Bangladesh.

Just an Observation

They are friends.

Like any other friends, they eat together, they laugh together, and they share and do things together.

Friend 1 found Mr. Right.

Friend 2 was happy for her.

Wedding was planned, caterers were sought, and location was picked.

No wedding happened.

Turns out Mr. Right turned left and made beautiful eyes with Friend 2.

Friend 1 found out.

She dumped Mr. Right.

Mr. Right pursued Friend 2.

Friend 2 entertained Mr. Right's attentions and flatteries.

And then nothing.

Today I saw Friend 1 and Friend 2 whispering in the hallway, gossiping, laughing, just like old times.

I don't get it.

Whatever happened to the knives on the back?

Would you pick up where you left off with a girlfriend who hurt you that way?

This is just me - but the sight of the two of them left a bitter taste in my mouth.

Oh what a post to begin the year.

Would You?

I got a msg on FB from a dear gal pal asking me if it's okay to be facebook friends with a guy she was crazy about back in the old days - some 20 years ago. Honestly, I was surprised that she would ask me, because I don't see anything wrong with it. Of course in those days it was obvious to everyone that she was heads over heels in crush with this guy. Or maybe not obvious to everyone but me.

Anyway, I told her there's nothing wrong with befriending someone who we already consider as "real life" friends from the old 'hood. Besides whatever feelings she had for him were based on juvenile emotions. Plus, both of them have moved on, married and have kids, and are happily enjoying the next stage in their lives. So what's wrong.

Then I asked what her husband's reaction was to this development. According to her she's still waiting for the right timing to tell him. She fears endless teasing from her very understanding husband :)

Now I have to blog about this because in relation to this I was in the same position when a boy I really liked in high school turned up on FB and sent in a request to be my friend. Without hesitation, I accepted.

While I had major crush on this guy back in the day when I weighed less than 100 lbs, I certainly did not carry whatever emotional baggage I had for him around me to this day. So it was just fine for me.

I have doubts about him though. I am fond of making comments on my friends photos and wall posts and when I noted that one of the "very innocent" comments I made on his photo was missing I had doubts and was a bit miffed. However, he replied to this missing comment. What's up with that?

So would you fb friend an old flame, crush, etc?

Guess Who

Guess who will be on the panel of judges when American Idol opens a new season next year. Do you think it best to go with all new set of judges, or keep Randy Jackson and add new faces?

I am writing this without really knowing what's going on. I am too busy too google or bing this information, which I am sure is not available yet.

While I love Ellen, I thought she wasn't effective in AI last year. Plus, whatever happens next season, whoever sits in judgement, it would never be the same without the caustic Mr. Cowell.

Let's wait and see.

And nope I don't want to see J. Lo there or Mariah Carey.

Penny For Your Thoughts

Pick a penny up and all day long you'll have good luck.

Goes the saying.

My mother picks up each and every penny she finds on the streets, in the mall, practically everywhere. She reasons out that it's money, so leaving it there is wasting it. Let's not waste money she says. So she picks it up.

My husband leaves it there. He reasons out that it's money that someone else might need. We don't need it too badly to pick it up. The penny would be wasted on us. So he leaves it there on the pavement, on the street, anywhere he finds it because someone else might need it.

What about you? What are your thoughts on the penny found?

Post #100

Don't you just love it when the decision you made months ago proved to be good and right?

Well that's what I discovered last night when after months of temporarily putting our Netflix subscription on hold - to give way to our busy schedules and an even busier Network programming schedules - the much touted sequel to the Twilight series, movie #2 New Moon was delivered to our mailbox.

This is how our night played out. I met hubs at Costco for our much needed grocery outing. We do our Costco trips during the weekday, because as you all know, Costco is a bedlam of shoppers during the weekend. It's too much stress to elbow people out of the way to the samples table, you know.

Anyhoo, we arrived at home nearly 9 pm, just in time to see the beginning of AI, which sadly was the show where Siobhan Magnus got the boot, really sorry to see her leave this early. I was personally hoping it would be Big Mike or little Aaron. I have nothing against them, except that I already had chosen my faves - Casey, Crystal, Lee, and Siobhan :) - I simply could not extend the list to 6 now can I?

Our 10 pm slot is taken by our daily devotion - whatever shows we watch on this timeslot is already recording on DVR to give way to our bible reading activity.

At 11 pm, we watch the nightly news, 11:30 we listen to David Letterman's monologue and his top ten list. On days when he has an exciting guest, we tune in to the interview portion, otherwise I hang up my glasses and sleep. Last night when the monologue was over, we put in the dvd of the movie.

Let me clarify that my husband and I - covered in blanket except for our faces - watched the whole thing lying down. The cat was next to me - her favorite spot when sleeping. We watched the whole movie in its entirety. No fastforwarding. It was late, we were both going to work today. But we stayed with the movie. And this is what we thought of the movie:

~ The dialogues are way too corny.
~ The acting by all three major characters was horrible.

And yet we didn't turn it off. Why is that? Because it's a part of the trilogy. And blah as it was, it was just a part of the bigger whole, you know. Let me ask you this, did you not think that The Two Towers, LOTR movie #2 was the least interesting and most boring of all the three?

However, I was so glad that we opted to pass on watching this on the big screen for 10 bucks a piece + whatever snacks we would have enjoyed. We saved roughly 50 bucks for waiting for it to be available on DVD.

Infidelity - That's What's On My Mind Today

Infidel is a word that came to my vocabulary a little later in my life. And it came via a scene in a movie where the lead actress yelled, "I am not an infidel." It was a love story.

After leaving the cinema, we rushed to see Mr. Webster and see what infidel meant. And that's when we learned what it was.

However, I never learned to use it in any of my letter writing (how it would come up I wouldn't know) or on any of my theme writing in school. It however remained this "big" new word that I learned and still didn't find the right scenario to use it.

Anyhow, this post is about infidelity and Sandra Bullock's filing for divorce from her "infidel" husband. Hah! I finally got to use the word (yay!).

I am using Sandra Bullock's name here, but this could be about every woman and/or man who has been at the receiving end of acts of infidelity.

I am not going to go into what compels people to cheat on their spouses, mates, partners, etc. That's not what I am interested in exploring. I want to know if forgiving and forgetting the act of infidelity is possible in situations like this, or if people who choose this option are to be applauded or pitied.

To those who can forgive and forget my question is "Have you really forgotten and forgiven?" or is it just lip service to preserve the status quo. Do you take this course of action because you don't want to rock the boat? Do you truly love the person who hurt you that much that you are willing to set aside your own pain and accept him/her with open arms? Do you make a fresh start with him/her? Will you be able to see him/her without remembering the sin?

To the majority of people that turn their back on the infidelity and walked away and never ever look back, were you hurt that much that you shut down your ears to listen to what he/she has to say? Why was it hard to look beyond his/her transgression?

A lot of factors can sway a person's decision either way. There are the kids, the mortgage, the reputation, etc, etc, etc. Whatever they are, it's an individual decision.

Can you forgive and forget? If infidelity is not the deal breaker in your relationship, what is?

Idle (or Idol) Opinions

Last night the top 11 of American Idol took the stage to the theme of Billboard #1s. I don't know how many of those numbers ones are really available for them to sing, but the song choices were more of the miss kind than the hit kind.

Anyway let's see what I got to say:

Against All Odds is a song that's easy to listen and people think easy to sing. But in my years of watching AI the song has been attempted almost every year by aspiring idols and if my recollection is accurate no one really slammed or as Randy would put it "slayed" the song. So if no one ever given justice to this song, why then every year, the song gets chosen? Do not misunderstand me. It is one of my all-time fave songs. It's such a romantic song with easy-to-listen melody. And I would like to hear it from someone who would give an outstanding take on it. But if you choose your song, it must be one you can do justice to and excel in. Sorry to say that Paige Miles did an awful rendition to the song. As she was starting to sing, I was wincing and I told my husband who was eating dinner with me as we were tuned in to the tube that Paige would not get a single positive reaction. I knew.

(Trivia: I just found out the prior to Paige Miles there were 6 other idols who covered this song on the Idol stage, making this song the most covered song in Idol so far.)

Crystal Bowersox is in a league of her own. It's a shame that she wasn't discovered before Idol because I feel that she's so ready for the real thing. Her singing and her style is right up my alley. My husband said it best: I would buy her records. True, hubs and I don't buy music but like him I feel that I could pony up some cash to get her records, that's how much we love her music and how much we feel she's that good. And the song she chose was perfect. I only heard of the song, Me and Bobby McGee a few months back when it went on the radio and it had this line that says, FREEDOM'S JUST ANOTHER WORD FOR NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE, and that line resonated with what I was feeling when I heard of it and I wanted to hear the song again. I'm not voting, but it would totally suck if people don't vote for her.

And the rest, what can I say. This household still heavily favored Siobhan Magnus although that screech at the end of her performances which is becoming a trademark can be a little irritating sometimes. I didn't dig her song choice, but I thought that she performed wonderfully.

Didi Benami got no love from the judges, but I thought she did a good job. And I liked her voice in that song. Am I missing something here?

Casey James remains my sentimental favorite after singing Heaven in his first Idol stage performance. But I must concur with Simon that his cover of Huey Lewis and the News's song was nothing but that: a cover. And also his smile and his smiling eyes distract me from listening intently to his performance. Can a person's good looks be a negative factor? I think he's too good looking to be taken seriously.

As for the rest, not one performance stood out as good or bad. The bottom three tonight would be: Paige Miles, Andrew Garcia, and Tim Urban.

Girls Night 2

The night was enjoyable for me. I again share with you what I thought.

FAVORITE PERFORMANCE OF THE NIGHT: Tie between Crystal Bowersox who sang a CCR song that I never heard before, but I totally dug her performance, and Siobhan Magnus who rocked an Aretha song.

Methinks I have found the performers I would be supporting this year. Usually I don't pledge support for any one until the Top 12 were chosen. Top 12? Or was it Top 10. I can't remember. But this early, I knew that I liked both girls' styles and voices.

SURPRISE OF THE NIGHT: Katelyn Epperly who accompanied herself on the piano to the tune of Scientist by Coldplay, another song I have not heard before, but the performance spoke to me. I loved it.

DISAPPOINTMENT OF THE NITE: Lacey Brown, who for the second week in a row did not live up to the standards of the Hollywood week. It's really a pity. I like the girl, I like her look, I like her quirkiness. Wake up!

That's all for today. And I'll try to come up with something else to post other than American Idol-related blabbers.

Let's Hear It From The Boys

I have very little time to write right now so let me get straight to the point.

FAVORITE PERFORMANCE: Casey James. He didn't disappoint. He is my favorite coming out of the Hollywood round. A bonus for me is that I totally love that song he sang.

DISAPPOINTMENT OF THE NIGHT: The entire show was a disappointment. The boys didn't deliver.

I have to say that Ellen is so spot on with her critiques/remarks/comments. She really belongs in that table.

Should He or Shouldn't He?

To start, let me say I have not seen the video of Tiger Woods’ apology. I have heard snippets of it on the radio. Worry not; I have all the intentions of checking it out later tonight.

But I question the decision to come out and make a public mea culpa. Should he have asked for apology to the public? Which public did his “actions” hurt? Which part of the public did he intend the apology towards?

What was he sorry for? If it was unfaithfulness towards his wife – shouldn’t he have conducted this apology in private with the one he hurt? I am sure that he had come down on his knees before his wife. So why the need to do it publicly?

Is this action part of his eventual return to golfing? Does he want to clear his path so he could go back to being what he used to be in people’s eyes?

I get the need for elected public officials who have been caught with their pants down to make a public apology. Sure Tiger is a public figure, but not in the same category as those people the public elected. Hence, I don’t get this apology.

What do you think, should he or shouldn’t he? Or do you care at all?

Have You Heard?

Funny gal Ellen Degeneres is reported to take the spot vacated by Paula Abdul on the judges panel on American Idol. Is this good news?

I was going back and forth on writing about this all day yesterday after I learned of the news, but not until my husband reacted to the news that the decision had been made. I was going to blog about this :)

"OMG", barked hubby after logging online last night. I was already surfing by this time. He asked me if I heard. He didn't have to complete the sentence for me to know what he's alluding to. Of course I knew. My husband does not watch American Idol on purpose. He had seen more than enough shows in the past to make him some sort of an "expert" on the subject, like we all are. I am the one that's been addicted to the show for a number of years now. I have the remote on days that AI is on so regardless of whether hubs was watching or not, he was in the same room each night AI was on.

Therefore, his negative reaction to the naming of Ellen as Abdul replacement is worth noting. He, however, doesn't care much for Paula Abdul. I don't either. As a matter of fact, whenever she speaks, I change the channel. Really. I don't have any patience to listen to her senseless babbling.

So let me break down to you why my hubs is against Ellen judging AI:

• She is not a singer.
• She is not a composer.
• She is not in the music biz.
• She will make a comedy out of the judging table.
• Therefore, she is totally unqualified to assume the post.

And my reasons why I love to have Ellen sitting on the panel:

• She will make more sense than Paula.
• She knows AI ~ being a fan of her show I know how much she loves AI.
• She will bring comic relief when the show gets boring, especially if this is a year when there are no outstanding contestants -- remember the season when Jordin Sparks won?
• I simply love her.
• Therefore, she is more than qualified to judge a singing contest.

So now that you know where we both stand and what's behind our stance, do you think Ellen is good for AI or not?