Farewell to you, my friend.

On a routine check on Facebook this week I found get-well-soon posts for a friend. The very next day, the posts became RIP. Only a few days before that he posted photos of him getting together with school buddies eating, drinking and singing karaoke. So much joy in his smile.

I met him in school. I was in the fifth grade; he was a third-grader. I know, what third-grader mingles with a fifth-grader right? I remember how I met him. Our classrooms were a few rooms apart, but were in the same building. My friends and I were playing in the grass across our room and they were playing in the grass across their room. Somehow, he and two of his buddies ventured to our grass and that's how we met.

I remembered seeing him again in high school, when I was a senior and him a sophomore. Funny thing, I don't remember seeing him as a freshman, although we went to the same high school. The reason why I remember seeing him in my senior year is that he used to help out a buddy of his to get to me. Somehow, he managed to convince this guy that he's friends with me and he can help him get close to me. Such bravado, huh! I think that's how I will remember him - he was not shy at all. He easily made friends with both upper classmen and lower classmen. The friend he was helping, we got close alright. That is another story for another day.

Sometime this year through a mutual friend he found me on Facebook. I'm really hard to find, because I am under my married name on FB. He knows me through my maiden name. We were chatting one time and he mentioned he's been looking for me on Facebook but couldn't find me until this mutual friend mentioned my new name. I told him that logging in under my married name act as a filter. Only those "close friends" can find me. He sounded hurt that he's not in the loop.

In the chat we talked about our lives and families and how proud he is of his boys who were doing so well in school, garnering awards and honors. He even sent me a link to a video of one of his boys delivering a valedictory speech during graduation. He was a proud dad. He also mentioned the last time we saw each other was in Manila, by San Sebastian Church. That was a Wednesday afternoon. We regularly attend novena on Wednesdays in San Sebastian because one of the acolytes was the cute guy from San Sebastian College. He was cute. A lot of college girls from universities nearby would come to the novena to see him.

But I digress. I was so surprised to see him there. It's been years since I last saw him. He was really surprised to see me there and the smile he gave me was so nice that the girls with me - my best friends in college - remarked afterwards that it seemed like we had something going on because of the way we were talking.

I really don't know if there was something going on, because I didn't stop to think about stuff like that. We've been really friendly throughout our friendship. He promised to show me around when I go back "home". He said our town has changed a lot and it's no longer a sleepy town that you pass on the way to Baguio from Manila.

Honestly I don't know why I got affected by his death. Sure he was a friend of mine despite all the years we haven't had any communication. I suppose I got sad because he was too young to die. His kids are still in school and he didn't yet get the chance to reap what he sow with his kids.

Dear G - thank you for being my friend. Farewell and rest in peace.

Should I?

So I was fooling around FB today scanning photos from my friends and family. Suddenly feeling bored with the same pictures I’ve seen over and over I decided to find people. I used my hometown as a filter to find a long-lost school chum. This wasn’t my first try to find her. I have searched for her before, always using her maiden name because apparently I don’t know what her married name is or if she’s married. I really wanted to catch up with an old friend.

Anyway, my search pulled up a ton of people from my hometown and one name came up that may sound like her brother. I don’t know her siblings per se. We were friends from 7 years old till we were 16. So we were in school together for about 2-3 years, then she moved to a new school and our friendship was conducted via letters. After elementary school, her entire family moved to the US to join her father who was serving in the US navy. The exchange of letters not only continued, but became more furious. She sent me long letters, 3-4 pages (front and back) sharing all her glorious new adventures in a new school and new surroundings. I remember at age 13 (and this was waaay before the age of internet) I was reading her letter about a trip to Disneyland. She said from their home in Vallejo, CA they traveled by car for 11 hours and the road was straight – she even drew 2 lines like this….II and she was bored to death. I was transported to a new place I haven’t been or will never be and I read all her letter voraciously. I lived vicariously through her letters. She was a productive letter writer. I wrote as much as I could, sharing my pathetic adventures in our old plain boring town making it sound as interesting as it could be without veering too much from the truth.

So anyway, back to the FB search…. I clicked on a name that sounded like her brother’s name. And I scoured his timeline to see any mention of her. Yes there was a mention of her, which meant I clicked on the right person. Next, I searched his friends list and unfortunately she wasn’t there. Okay so to make a very long story short, I found that she also has a sister, which I didn’t know because I only knew of her and her brother when I was friends with her. Anywhoo, I clicked on the sister’s page and found a group picture including her and a man’s arm is wrapped around her. Thankfully, the man was tagged in the photo and I followed that tag and I found her. The man is her husband and she’s there. It looks like she’s only about 4 hours’ drive away from where I live.

I am so very tempted to message the husband because it looks like she doesn’t have a page of her own. But I am having second thoughts.

Should I or shouldn’t I reconnect?